Weekends

Weekends do not mean much to me. I haven't worked for so long that the concept is foreign to me. People ask what I have planned for the weekend or they say Have a great weekend. My weeks are not structured enough to make weekends special. Maybe I am just a grumpy old man. Weekends are special if you are busy all week. Maybe I should be busier in the week. I think a lot of lonely people find weekends difficult. Everyone else sems to be doing stuff. It just reminds you of your lack of friends, lack of a life or just plain loneliness. Most people seem to wish the week to go faster, so they can get to the weekend. I tend to wish the weekends would go faster so I can reach the week. That is despite having few plans for the week.

I don't know why I feel different about weekends. After all, a day is just a day. I am aware of the weekend because neighbours are around in the day and doing their weekend things. It brings it home that I do even less on the weekend.

I have no idea what I am trying to say here. I guess I am depressed and lonely for a lot of the time and it can be worse at the weekend. If you have any comments, I would appreciate them. Even if you just tell me to pull myself together or get a life !! I have always struggled for most of my adult life, even when I was married. I have been trying to work out what getting a life actually means. I do not make friends easily and since I suffered from bipolar disorder, I have been very good at losing friends.