Weekends do not mean much to me. I haven't worked for so long that the concept is foreign to me. People ask what I have planned for the weekend or they say Have a great weekend. My weeks are not structured enough to make weekends special. Maybe I am just a grumpy old man. Weekends are special if you are busy all week. Maybe I should be busier in the week. I think a lot of lonely people find weekends difficult. Everyone else sems to be doing stuff. It just reminds you of your lack of friends, lack of a life or just plain loneliness. Most people seem to wish the week to go faster, so they can get to the weekend. I tend to wish the weekends would go faster so I can reach the week. That is despite having few plans for the week.
I don't know why I feel different about weekends. After all, a day is just a day. I am aware of the weekend because neighbours are around in the day and doing their weekend things. It brings it home that I do even less on the weekend.
I have no idea what I am trying to say here. I guess I am depressed and lonely for a lot of the time and it can be worse at the weekend. If you have any comments, I would appreciate them. Even if you just tell me to pull myself together or get a life !! I have always struggled for most of my adult life, even when I was married. I have been trying to work out what getting a life actually means. I do not make friends easily and since I suffered from bipolar disorder, I have been very good at losing friends.
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Look at this another way. You are fortunate to have the weekdays free to take care of your errands and all the boring stuff that working people have to cram into the weekends.
ReplyDeleteSo, on the weekend your days are a blank canvas. Look upon that as an opportunity. Wake up, freshen up, eat well and get OUT of the house.Go visit somewhere of beauty like a a park or garden or view a beautiful painting. Try to say something kind to somebody along the way, even if it is just your waitress in a coffee bar. Remember, the every person feels alone sometimes, to a greater or lesser extent. So in that sense, because we are all able to feel that loneliness, then we are all in fact together.
This weekend is almost over, start a fresh week.
Dear anon, Thanks for your comments. I think I do use the week for chores etc to a large degree. I will try to look at weekends in that different way. Getting out of the house is my other big issue. I do try to be kind to people but it is mostly restricted to the online community.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Clive
what can I say Clive, I work, but I too find the weekends terribly lonely and I have kids. I hate it, I really do. There's no money to do nice things, there's too much housework to do anyway. My one friend is married and is with him all weekend. I sit here at 2300 on a Sunday night truly contemplating is it worth it all, or should I just quietly slip away and do what I long to do? No plan yet, still wishing. We just keep going, for some reason. We hope these is light.
ReplyDeleteHello Clive,
ReplyDeleteThanks for your reply.
Please would you mind elaborating on your thoughts that you find it difficult to get out the house? Do you mean in an emotional or physical sense? If you could explain a little more, then I can perhaps offer some helpful advice and kind words, and maybe help you along the way. Only Tuesday today, so lets see what can transpire before Saturday, to change your weekend just a fraction from the last one.
Sally
Thanks Sally, I really struggle with working out why find it hard to get out of the house. I try to believe that it is not laziness. I am in that position as I write. I need to get out for a walk. It is more about having a reason to go out, having something I need to do such as going to the post office. A lot of it is that I am secure in my own flat. I have got very isolated and struggle to break out of that mindset. I think it is mostly a mental process. I would appreciate any advice you can offer.
ReplyDeleteClive
I understand how weekends can be harsh. I worked with substance misuse patients and it's a known fact that most relapses happen on weekends (specially sundays). It's the non-structure of those days and the bad tv programming. A cognitive approach is to put some frame to them, have a schedule of activities so you know what to expect. At least that was I used to tell my patients. I hope you find a way of enjoying them without feeling so lonely.
ReplyDeleteBest wishes
I hate weekends too, often I don't even bother getting out of bed. That probably doesn't help you much, but at least you know you're not alone!
ReplyDeleteThis post reminded me of an article Clare Allen wrote at Christmas last year which I thought explained perfectly the problem with weekends and holidays. It's obviously biased toward Christmas, but what she says can apply all through the year.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/society/joepublic/2008/dec/23/mental-health-christmas
Thanks Aliquant. I have read the link from last Christmas and bookmarked it. It does have a lot of the same subject matter as my blog. This was one my hardest blogs to write and it seems to have got more interest. I guess the problem is more common than I realised. Christmas is the weekend from hell and I recall some particularly difficult times, even before I was bipolar. I was never hospitalized at Christmas but beeing home alone could be far worse. The same can apply to birthdays spent alone. I remember one birthday when I was delighted to spend a birthday with a total stranger!
ReplyDeleteTake Care,
Clive Wild {@CliveWild on Twitter, Clive Wild on Facebook)
On weekends with no plan I either sleep the day away or clean my house floor to ceiling. If plans get changed or cancelled, I'm more likely to freak out and stay on the couch watching movies. I depend on consistency. When I do have plans, I expect them to follow through. On those weekends where I feel a bad episode coming on, I take my dogs out to the dog park. It gets me sunshine and I can be as active as I want to be, or not. I also find it makes me more social. Then, if my phone rings for something unscheduled, I am in a more positive place in my mind.
ReplyDeletehttp://thedifferenceissanity.blogspot.com/
You're looking at the glass and seeing it half empty. But for the glass to be half empty it has to be half full. Focus on the full portion and your life will take an abrupt turn. Good luck.
ReplyDeleteI feel the same way. WTF.I think most people do.
ReplyDelete