Wednesday, 20 April 2011

Buddy, can you spare some time?

Everyone in the modern world seems obsessed with how busy their lives are. Give me a break!! Try living for 4 months on 2-3 hours sleep a night. I have time in abundance, made even more apparent by having no job, and not through want of trying. Doesn't this sound wrong somewhere? I am reasonably intelligent, IT literate, published author, lousy at Suduko, quite healthy having lost 84 pounds and I can't even get arrested {in job terms}. I am angry and I think I am right to be after being thrown on the scrap heap of life prematurely. Enough of my rant. I have to move on.

What frustrates me most is that all these people wit such busy lives have no time for us, the long suffering people with a mental illness diagnosis. Because of the insomnia that is commonly associated wit Bipolar Disorder, I have a lot of time on my hands. Most of it is spent alone. Much of that is in the long nights, made bearable by the internet and on-line friends. I just can't remember how I managed before the internet. It probably explains some of the nocturnal wandering that accompanied manic episodes. The internet can now keep the most manic person reasonably occupied.

The on-line community and support system can work well. Even on-line, it is easy to find yourself alone despite there being millions of people on at any time. I am at a loss to explain this phenomena. There is often no one to tweet to, message on facebook, talk to on skype or simply chat to. Everyone goes MIA. This is understandable in the Mental health community but maybe not in the wider population. I guess I am pleading to those who are logged on and not talking. If you see a friend who posts at some ungodly hour, please say hello at least. They may appreciate a quick chat. In my most anxious periods, an early on-chat could turn around my day and often did.

I have time on my hands so I have been idly thinking about time zones. The UK must be one of the most unfortunate time zones for the insomniac who is awake between midnight and sunrise. The stragglers in the USA and Canada drift off to bed as rime passes. There are a few Aussies and Kiwis who are around but there are far less of them. The area in between is a bit of an internet desert, at least there is no one in my circle of friends. I think it must be good to live down under if you are an insomniac. There is more chance of finding someone awake. Just an idle but totally useless conjecture...


  1. I am a bipolar expat living in Sweden. I know what you mean about the Internet wasteland when up at all times day and night. I am fairly newly diagnosed (my first year with the diagnosis) and your blog helps me understand myself and this diagnosis better, not least it helps me feel like I don't have to apologize for my every non-traditional behavior. Thanks.

  2. Hey - interesting post. I agree, the internet totally helps me in mania. It can also over stimulate and lead to mania mind you so I have to watch that I don't 'obsess' and take a break. Whole days get eaten up and I've barely eaten or slept; eyes glued to the screen. Shah. X


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