A lot has been written about the personality traits of Bipolar people. It usually deals with childhood and the transition to adulthood. I am more concerned with the personality of Bipolars on a day to day basis. I have been largely stable on medication for 24 years. I have only just begun to realize that I have bipolar characteristics all of the time.
On occasions, I can be highly energetic and positive. On other occasions I can be almost non-functional and in the worst of lethargy. I don't consider this to be mood swings. I am reacting to the stimuli which are either exciting or depressing. If I am feeling positive and I begin some interesting work, my energy levels lift and I work longer and faster. If I am feeling negative, everything seems hopeless. This happens more after a period of sleep deprevation. Even a poor night's sleep can leave me in a more positive state.
The worrying thing is that I believe the hopeles feelings even though I know it is a trick of the mind. The same can be true of depression. One day can be as black as it can be. Next morning, you might wake up wondering why you were depressed.
This came to my mind because of experience yesterday evening. I began to feel excrutiatingly lonely. I had not been in touch with many of my online friends and I still find it hard to reach out to friends. I reached such a miserbale state that I went to bed and pulled the covers over. That's what they call a duvet moment. I truly felt hopeless and miserable. I had four hours sleep and I woke up in a much better frame of mind.
I re-applied myself to getting more Twitter followers. I am hoping it will be one means of promoting my book. I talked to an online friend early in the week. He gave me a simple method of gaining followers. It just required time and application. I certainly had plenty of time on my hands. I followed his formula through this week and I have gained over 500 followers from a start point of 400. I have no idea whether this will help to promote my book, but it is worth a try.
I conclude that my bipolar personality can be good for me. It can equally be destructive and can lead to wallowing in despair. This is particularly difficult because I live alone and I have little contact with living breathing people. I know my online friends do both of these things but it is not quite the same.
I would be interested in anyones thoughts on this subject. Maybe we can find ways to alleviate the worst of the feelings. There must be a better solution than diving under the duvet.
Clive Wild (BipolarFella)
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Clive,
ReplyDeleteI can relate very much to your description of the bipolar personality! I've been diagnosed with bipolar for five years, and whilst I'm not exactly stable on medication, I'm much better than I was. Despite the absence of the extremes of mood, I also think that my personality shares in my bipolarity on a day to day basis.
I was interested to read of your success in gaining followers on twitter! Would you be prepared to share with me your secret?
All the best, Martine
satnin1981@btinternet.com
I'm sorry you have been depressed. I get what you're saying, I feel that way at times. I have been working on squidoo alot trying to make giant squid. hope all is well now.
ReplyDeleteI think anyone diagnosed with bipolar disorder can really relate to your post. I was diagnosed a few years ago, it's always one hell of a crazy ride!I totally agree with what you mentioned about about the hyper sensitivity to stimuli in the environment, i think that's a huge trigger. I am a musician who tours alot which is awesome, when you're playing and partying, but when you take a break from it all,the crushing lows set in. I don't mind the bipolar disorder at all when i am in my hypomanic state. When the depression sets in I have a very hard time feeling any kind of gratitude or pleasure in anything, it's very painful and draining. There's some very interesting research out there on theraputic nicotine use for alot of different mental illnesses, including bipolar disorder. Nicotine gum(which i wouldn't recommend for people to just start up on)has been very helpful for me for the mood swings and anxiety when nothing else seemed to work. Sleep deprivation therapy for bipolar depression has been really helpful for me too, there is some really interesting research out there on that too. Thank you for sharing your experience, best wishes!
ReplyDelete