Thursday, 17 March 2011

Feeling very good .. is it legal?

I feel ridiculously good. I am sure it would illegal, except that herbal tea and coffee are legal , as far as I know? You can say I am manic. Good friends have asked politely.. I am not even in the manic spectrum. I feel good. This may be a new sensation but I like it. Elevated mood without the assistance of some chemical imbalance or screwed up brain functioning. I did feel similarly in the brief honeymoon period of my last marriage. That was a few weeks in 1993. That is pretty sad in 61 years. There must have been other periods but not many. After the bipolar appeared, I increasingly began to doubt good moods. This was a necessary side effect of becoming more insightful.

I have realized that you can be brought down by the doubts of nay sayers. No one really understands what mood swings are like. Even less understand how or why they occur. My theories are as valid as anyone's until they get some definitive tests and medications that don't "just work". Most psychiatric meds were initially used for another illness such as epilepsy. They just happened to help bipolar symptoms and they were used thereafter. I can't think of many meds that are uniquely used for treating bipolar disorder. Show me a bipolar patient who doesn't have medication issues. Most of them will say "It helps me, but ....". What I was trying to say before the sidetrack is that we have to ignore nay sayers in order to recover. Much of my life was on hold because I respected everyone else's feelings or opinions. I was never allowed to fly!! Very few people will encourage you to do your best and to push the envelope. They would rather you were in a chemically induced straight jacket. I am sorry .. I want more !! I want a life !! I don't want my life back.. that is about career and practical stuff. It is pretty well over.

In the words of Tom Wooton, in Bipolar in Order : "What is unfortunate today is that far too many people continue to cling to the old belief that it is impossible to live a full life with a mental condition."

I believe strongly that the way MH patients are treated causes most of their MH problems. If they allow themselves to explore the spectrum of moods, they will have a fuller and more fulfilling life. The majority of MH sufferers I have met are very intelligent. What a waste of potential? We are stigmatized and many are unable to work.


No comments:

Post a Comment

Please leave a comment. It is very much appreciated.