I am still attempting to chill more in my life. I am failing badly to be quite honest. As long as I have ideas and "things to do" I cannot rest. I know what I am doing but I feel compelled to do things immediately. This is in complete contrast to my experience over the years. I put things off to a disturbing degree. It feels good to be so driven but it is really exhausting.
Last evening I attended my support group. I went mainly to escape the draw of my computer and TV. I attempted to be fairly quiet but failed. I livened up the meeting. My friends all understood. I have bought a new TV, having survived with a second hand TV for years. I am extremely pleased with my purchase but I have been worrying about my expenditure generally. In my previous reclusive existence, at least I lived cheaply. Hopefully it will balance out. I have a secret fear of buying something outrageous online and forgetting when it arrives.
I am getting so much support from people online. Some people have no idea about Bipolar Disorder but they appreciate my stance on mental illness and stigma. Thanks to all those people. My confidence is still fragile and I rely on the boost given by friends.
I am still struggling with the identity crisis that I mentioned in an earlier blog. I like myself more now, but I can't help thinking it will fade away. I get vulnerable when I am tired so I start to doubt myself.
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BF,
ReplyDeleteNice to talk to you again yesterday at the support group. I forgot to mention that I do also have a blog myself, but I just don't update it very often.
Maybe I should (have since done 3 posts today), as this might help keep me on a much more even keel. Who knows, but as a fellow blogger you might want to take a look - I am interested in what you say about the support you have got from other people online. In many ways, I guess I am scared by the idea that anyone could be reading your thoughts - but I think the positives outweigh the negatives.
The site is called Mind Pilot, based on a simple concept of running each day like a flight, I'm sure you can work out the rest. If only programming the human mind was as easy as programming computers!
Cheers,
J
I hope that everything in your life is balancing like the ying and yang but I can understand if it is not. I do run a forum that helps others with bipolar and it is called
ReplyDeletewww.bipolarsupportforum.com and we don't judge but we support and help one another. We are fairly new so it may seem empty and I am not spamming believe me. But all I have to say is that I know how it is living with it for 29 years and it can be horrific so if you have a chance and if you want to please visit it or send some people who are tired of having a stigma attached to them because they are bipolar. Thank you for your time and may God and Jesus be with you.