Saturday, 21 February 2009

I feel like an Extra in the Thriller Video

How can you sleep, albeit 3 hours, and wake up feeling like an elephant's armpit? I'm not even manic. That might be fun but dangerous. I'm stuck in this horrible mixed state, mental energy to spare but physically exhausted. I went bed after 8pm because I was totally exhausted. I woke up before midnight. The realization is terrible. I think the pattern becomes ingrained but why can't I stay asleep. I fall asleep readily enough with the help of Seroquel. To be fair, I suffered like this before I started Seroquel in 2007. I am getting off Lithium and this may be affecting my sleep. Whatever the truth, I am determined to handle the transition. My cholesterol meds are being changed so my meds regime is in total flux. I have to give it a few weeks. These mixed states are the pits followed closely by rapid cycling. The only time I tried suicide was after a very fast period rapid cycling with several cycles in each day.


1 comment:

  1. Hang in there Clive, you can do it. You're strong enough and aware enough of your state. I'm rooting for you!!


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