Wednesday 18 February 2009

A Day of Changing Moods

I was riding the hypomanic surfboard this morning and I seem to have fallen off. I felt so good this morning but I was awake before 4am again. I over did things and got too much stimulation. Now it is 15 hours after waking and I feel like a different person. Sullen, sad, paranoid. I reached out for online friends and I found one new Twitter friend and one I have talked to for a few years. I find that fellow sufferers are the best support. They know where you are coming from. I hope a good night's sleep changes things. The problem there is the word "good". I will probably take 200mg of seroquel. I am nervous of taking more because my meds are in flux. I watched 3 hours of 24 series 6 straight through. That might have been a mistake. I didn't enjoy it as I normally do. I had an insight into hypomania this morning. I feel like I am flitting around and doing things too fast. I realized that it was like Peter Pan flying around or more accurately Tinkerbell. Maybe I know why my friend is BipolarTink? I find myself rushing around from one thing to the next, impatient to get things done. I type fast and usually very accurately. That's why I like working on my story. I am still like that but there is an overwhelming cloud over me. I can still think and I function quite well.

2 comments:

  1. I am so impressed with the way you have the ability to describe your bipolar moods. I guess with lack of communication and so much denial for so many years from Randy, I just assumed that someone with bipolar couldn't see what was really going on. You have opened my eyes and helped me see that that is definately not true. Some can see their moods and describe them in detail. I'm glad we have met and I'm glad you are my friend. Thanks for helping me see a different side of bipolar.

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  2. I can so relate to this. I feel like this alot and it's like you can see the fall coming, but you can't make yourself come back from the ledge.I have mixed episodes at times and I feel the way you described, ultra productive and pleasant but with a cloud hanging over me at the same time. It's hard for alot of people to understand. I hope you feel better. I enjoy your posts and your tweets.

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